Saturday, January 30, 2010

Almost February

As the title says, it's almost February and with that month comes my birthday. This year it's one of the big ones as I turn 40.
It seems strange to say it, I shall be 40. I remember when my mum and dad turned 40 and I certainly don't feel anything like I expected they felt back then. Forty seemed so old, I don't feel old, I don't feel any more grown up now than I did when I turned 21 although I am such a different person.

When I was 21 I was three years into my career and loving every minute of it, had met a really irritating bloke who I just couldn't get enough of even though I knew he probably wasn't a good long term bet and had moved out of home.
Now I'm about to turn 40 I've been married, separated and will, hopefully, soon be divorced. Have met the most wonderful bloke who really is my missing link, keeps me sane, challenges me constantly and even when we're fighting, I still love more and more each day.

I also have my son. My amazingly wonderful son who I still can't believe is mine sometimes. I've watched him sleeping and he is so beautiful and I have to catch my breath at the thought that me and the OH are responsible for him being here.
Having James has made me happier than I've ever been, even at the height of my career, which I loved with a passion. He drives me to distraction, he angers me beyond belief but, above all else, he loves me unconditionally and that makes me a better person.

So, as I turn 40, I will reflect on the good fortune that has brought me to this point in my life, I shall wish for at least another 40 good years and I shall try and persuade Mike that James should have a brother or sister so that there is someone else who will love him unconditionally as I love my brother.

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